The damage one punch can do
By: Dan Duggan, Collegian editor
Issue date: 11/1/05 Section:Opinion
By now many of you have probably heard the story, either on the news or by word of mouth.
It's the story of the 21-year-old man, John O'Connell, who was punched while trying to break up a fight outside of a Westfield bar less than two weeks ago. The Westfield State senior fell back after getting punched, hit his head on the cement and ultimately died due to injuries.
And while you may have heard the story, I'm going to give you a slightly different perspective on this tragedy. The reason my perspective is different is because that 21-year-old "man" was my best friend.
I put the word "man" in quotes because it's funny to see my friend called a man in a news story. To me he's just Okie, the same kid that I met eight years ago at freshman football practice and was friends with ever since.
I'm not writing this to tell you what good friends we were, or how great of a person Okie was (although if I wanted to do that I could fill this whole paper with stories about what a remarkable person he was). I'm not going to do that though, because if you didn't know him, reading about him isn't going to matter very much to you.
The reason I am writing this is that I am hoping everyone can learn a lesson from his tragic, senseless death.
And believe me, I'm not trying to give some "stop the violence" public service announcement, if for no other reason than it'd be hypocritical, as my friends and I have never been ones to shy away from confrontations. But I have realized that all of the fighting and hostility that takes place every night at bars and parties is just not worth it.
I don't know why there is always this underlying tension whenever groups of guys are gathered in places such as bars and parties - it's some combination of the need to seem tough, this ridiculous feeling of what it is to be a "man" and, of course, alcohol.
What I hope people can realize is how fragile life is. One punch is all it takes to take so much away. And it's not just about the physical damage that one punch can do - one punch can also do damage to friends and family that will never heal.
Okie's death was no doubt a freak incident. And I'm sure many of you are reading this and thinking that this could never happen to you. I know before this ordeal I never thought it could happen to anyone I knew, but the simple truth is that if it could happen to Okie, it could happen to anyone.
Okie wasn't a small kid by any stretch. In fact the 6-foot-3-inch, 220-pound former standout high school athlete was one of the toughest kids I've ever known. He just found himself trying to do the right thing, but in the wrong place.
He was only trying to help a friend who was involved in a fight. And while he was playing the role of peacemaker, some 28-year-old scumbag, who didn't even have the guts to square off with Okie, sucker-punched him in the mouth.
And while I hope that justice is served, whatever happens to this lowlife isn't going to bring my best friend back. That's why I hope people can learn something from Okie's far-too-short life, so that even in his death he can continue to touch people's lives.
It's a given that bad things are going to happen in life. It was less than a year ago that another one of my best friends was killed in a car accident when his car was hit by a drunk driver. And while that experience was equally as devastating, car accidents are a part of life. Obviously you hope your loved ones aren't involved in any, but at least there is some sense to that.
The thing that is impossible to get over in Okie's situation is how the life of an amazing person was brought to such an abrupt end for no good reason.
Now I have no illusions that reading this will change everyone's mindsets and there will be no more fights on this campus. But hopefully what can happen is that you'll think twice the next time some drunk idiot bumps into you in a crowded bar uptown. Maybe you'll realize that you don't need to prove to him or anyone else how tough you are.
Instead, let it go, and go sit back at the bar, grab a beer and have a laugh with a friend.
Because God knows I'd give anything to have just one more chance to do the same with Okie.
I Heard the Name Before I Ever Met Him...
Dan Duggan
November 30, 2005
I heard the name before I ever met him, and long before I would ever become best friends with him. Best friends? Hell, the first few times I met him I didn’t even like him, let alone was I friends with him. But that’s the way it goes when you’re young and ultra-competitive like I was.
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